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My Friend Hates My Blog

October 23, 2009

The other night I posted a link to my blog on Facebook.  My alleged best friend commented, “You seriously have a blog?  Don’t only teenagers have blogs?”  I replied to her privately that I was sorry she didn’t know I have had a blog for 5 weeks now and adults do actually blog (do teenagers really blog anyway?  I haven’t seen any.  But I digress. . .).  She then went on to say that she didn’t “condone” or “support” the direction I was taking and that my blogging and Twittering were “juvenile” and it “fosters immaturity.”  She said that she was “disappointed,” she didn’t know me anymore, and didn’t want me blogging about her because she is a “private person” (I told her I had no intention of writing about her but now: SCREW THAT!  We’ll see if she discovers this which would mean she is reading my childish blog and undermining her own argument).  She said 2 paragraph posts don’t show my intelligence and my blog was like “a MySpace page that never was.”  She said she is the only person who has met me face-to face and my “really loyal Twitter friends” don’t actually know me and therefore any support they may give me is worthless.  She said I needed “grounding” and she was the only one to provide it.  Where did all of this judgement and vitriol come from?  I have no idea since I never asked for her opinion, let alone her approval.  I basically told her to fuck off and that it was surprising to me that she was the only person I knew (in real life or in social media) who was hating on my blog.

I’ve known this friend for over 20 years and we have had our falling outs in the past, so this kind of thing doesn’t really surprise me.  I write off most of what she had to say because she is slamming something she has never done (Twitter) and clearly has not read any of the amazing blogs by all of the ADULTS much more informative and funny than me.  Aside from the fact that she is a negative and oppositional person in general, and is not very satisfied with her own life, her words did affect me.  While I intellectually know that my friend’s comments were baseless and ridiculous, a part of me always takes criticism far too much to heart (it’s an aspect of my personality I wish I could eradicate but will likely always be there to some degree).  For a few moments I wondered if she was correct: is this blog voicing my thoughts (sometimes rather aimlessly and self-indulgently) truly immature?  Is it a waste of my time?  So guess what I did?  I asked Twitter.  And the responses I got were completely supportive.  People said my friend was jealous and a “hater.”  I have to agree.  And I wonder if that is truly a friend.  I have other friends who tease me about Twitter and Facebook but even one of them reads my blog and said that she was proud of me for it.  For someone to be so needlessly negative, without provocation or invite, is really a reflection of their own shortcomings.

Yeah, I get all the criticism about social media and blogging being narcissistic.  I used to think the same thing.  But I now know better and I am sick of trying to explain and defend it to people who don’t and never will get it.  The bottom line is how I feel about it.  When I read the comments on this blog I know that I am doing something positive for both myself and the handful of people who take time out of their lives to read and comment upon it.  When I see the interactions of people I follow on Twitter and how they are helping, informing, and making one another laugh I know it is far from “juvenile.”  I hope my “best friend” and I can move past this hurdle, but for now, I am more interested in the people who support me, whether I have met them “face to face” or not.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. britneybennett permalink
    October 23, 2009 3:38 pm

    I don’t get it. It’s a free country, and mostly a free Web. Blog if you want. If you have something interesting to say, others will benefit from it.

    And your friend, of course, is free NOT to blog .

  2. sunnydelyte21 permalink
    October 23, 2009 4:25 pm

    My two bffs don’t read my blog. And you know what I don’t care. I enjoy blogging and I’m grown.

    Keep on writing…

  3. October 23, 2009 5:01 pm

    Sounds like my aunt, so pessimistic ;) first of all. most teens don’t blog (there are a few who do) and most of them are either using facebook or myspace (although more are using myspace as it caters to their likes/styles). I Generally do not see anything wrong with myspace, but I see more drawback to the kinds of people there are on myspace and facebook is “cleaner” if you will say.

    Now, on the topic of your friend hating your blog or the FACT you blog, tweet whatever. We are in an era and generation where socialism is getting to be more accepted and sharing is a GOOD thing because two minds is better than one. There might be some jealousy or hate coming from your friend, however I also think she is uneducated as far as blogging goes and is stereotyping without knowing her facts.

    This example would be like you getting a sports car and your friend telling you that the car you got makes you childish and only teens drive those kinds of cars because they go too fast so therefore you go too fast too. JUST because you have a sports car does not put you in the pool with everybody else! Unfortunately the older generation tend to think that way, that is because they need to be verbally-visually educated :).

  4. October 23, 2009 5:51 pm

    Well said my friend! Only a true blogger could come to the same conclusion. Be it narcissistic or not, it obviously is something you want to do so why let anyone stop you? Yes, we may take some razzing over being bloggers and tweeters, that is one thing. But to lash out and try to belittle you for it is completely uncalled for.

    BLOG ON you Bliggity Blogger Tweeter you!

  5. mjjaaska permalink*
    October 23, 2009 6:03 pm

    Britney, SunnyD, Shannon and my dearest Ted: Thank you so very much for your supportive responses!

    • sunnydelyte21 permalink
      October 23, 2009 7:35 pm

      nor a problem

  6. October 27, 2009 10:58 pm

    Clearly she is not you best friend and the other friend you write about is a better cadidate!!!! I bet your “best” friend has her own issues she’s dealing with and can’t live up her best friend potential at this moment. I think she’ll come around.

    • mjjaaska permalink*
      October 28, 2009 12:06 am

      You are SO correct, mysterious G!

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