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I Probably Will Not Follow You If . . .

September 21, 2009

A while back I started a hit hashtag meme (employed only by myself) wherein I listed some of the reasons I probably would not return follow a person on Twitter.  Here they are.

#Iprobablywillnotfollowyou:

  1. If you tweet in a language other than English.  Call me uneducated and xenophobic, but if I can’t read your tweets, can I really be blamed?
  2. If your avatar is a photo of you without a shirt showing off your rock hard abs.  Twitter isn’t Myspace after all.
  3. If all you do is RT others.  Come up with an original thought, would you?
  4. If all you do is @reply to others.  See #3.
  5. If you NEVER @reply others.  Why would I want to “engage” with someone who isn’t going to talk back to me?  It reminds me of the schizophrenic mumbling to himself as he walks down the sidewalk.
  6. If all you do is blip songs.  I have an iPod, thank you very much.
  7. If you claim to be working for Donald Trump and/ or have the secret to whiter teeth.
  8. If you tweet in street slang.  Seriously, it is one thing to speak that way, but it is another ball of wax entirely to write that way.  See #1.
  9. If your avatar is a photo of an attractive chick, your user name is followed by numbers, AND you have only three tweets in your feed comprised of you saying how bored you are and begging for someone to “entertain” you.
  10. If your tweets tell me how to get more followers than Oprah yet you have 80 followers.
  11. If all you do is quote the bible
  12. If all you do is bash liberals.
  13. If all you do is tweet techie/SEO/marketing gibberish. I’m sure it is very useful to some, but way over my head.
  14. If all you do is tweet your latest blog post.
  15. If all you do is tell me how to lose weight (I take that personally!) or how to earn more money working from home.
  16. If all of your tweets look like you are updating your Facebook status. “@username is getting ready to go to work.”  “@username is going to bed.”  Fascinating stuff.
  17. If you are tweeting links every 2 minutes.  Unless you are @GuyKawasaki:  him, I am okay with.

I will, however, follow you back if you are funny, snarky, informative, interactive, a real person, and/or are talking about something that interests me.  That’s what I try to be and do.  Always a work in progress.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 22, 2009 9:09 pm

    Whew! Glad I read this before I put up my new avatar of me without a shirt showing off my rock hard abs. I thought it’d help me get some followers.

    • mjjaaska permalink*
      September 23, 2009 1:01 am

      I didn’t say I would UNFOLLOW you if you did that. You make it in under the grandfather clause.

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